The Light, and the Likes and Dislikes of a Little Brown Dog

Jane’s trying to get to grips with the loss of her favourite lap. Not only that, but the other lap has gone for R&R and she’s been sent to Boot Camp. She is not happy about it. Life is a little scary.

Nooks and cranny’s are her thing. Not wide open spaces. Getting her nose tucked into a snuggly space is more her forte. Yes, she’s a Daschund. Yes they were made for badger hunting, but how many humans do you know that run around in a furry loin cloth, eating berries for the most part and a big hunk of meat now and then. Some? Really?

No. She’s more evolved than that.

Things have changed since the olden days.

So much so that when crossing this piece of ground, which is just a band of ground between two ravines carved over the years by two burns, in to which many many badgers have dug themselves a city. Burrows on both ravines and a rake of badgers living right beneath her paws. Did she hesitate for a sniff? Nope. Just wanting home to the sofa.

The walks are held up with long, lingering looks back to where she came from - the place with the sofa.

Roads that are too long make her blood boil.

She hates assault courses…..

Waves or slippy stones….

Seaweed - yuk.

She doesn’t like tunnels any more than she likes badger burrows. Why does no one understand this?

For the love of the wee dog!! Just a quiet, non moving lap. Please!!! And absolutely NOT one that makes more noise than HER!!

“Get that scary baby off me!!”

Not having to walk in the rain is the only bonus.

The south easterly winds have brought an amazing dry spell to Lochaber, whilst the normally dry eastern side of the country is floating away under a large puddle.

4pm 24th January. We have light!

8am on the 23rd. The stretching of the days is always worthy of the note.

The lack of rain gave us a clear sky so that we got to see the Northern Lights for a change.

Finn and Izzy had chosen a brilliant night to park up at Loch Arkaig. They didn’t know the lights were going to appear.

After a stormy night we got a sunny day and a moonlit night.

The longest month hath past. It has taken a very sad toll. We move forward. But never forgetting.

The Last Wolf

The Wolf Moon lit up Inveroy on the 3rd of January. Local legend has it that the last wolf of Lochaber was killed on the Croft here.

There was no darkness that night. Nowhere to hide…..

Before dawn, the Wolf Moon had circumnavigated the Croft and was sinking in the west.

The domestic dogs have no idea how hard life could actually be.

And indeed, the simple request of “can you take Jane for a walk?” became a test of the strongest will……

2 mins of pondering a walk, followed by the Long Carry.

Paths and roads turned icy and treacherous and anyone walking ANYWHERE became an issue.

Paths that looked innocuous turned out to be a hands and knees job at times!!

But then the rain came and we had to admit it was good to let the cold go, in favour of the rain. Not often we think that.

There have been protests since my daughter told my dog he wasn’t allowed to leave home with a croc. He figured he’d rather stay home.

But it was sad to let the twinkles go.

So I’ve kept mine, for a while.

Just to help brighten a sad sad time.

I can’t put into words how much I’ll miss this very quiet, dignified man.

December Delights

Sometimes they’re obvious and sometimes you’ve to look for them. Because it’s getting darker and darker.

8am on the 2nd of December. Sipping coffee and eating toast, Ì was enjoying the drama of it. By 9.15am it was low tide on Caol Shore and perfect timing for the dog walk.

4pm evening walks are pushing it a bit with the day light, but I like the dying light and the contrast with artificial light.

Corpach Basin.

Sometimes there’s drama in other places. I got a text demanding a Full Team Call Out. This is not the first time. Last time it was because Ken Bruce had announced he was retiring from Radio 2 and Running Girl was distraught that she wouldn’t be able to enjoy his daily Pop quiz which she loved as a good distraction while removing the stinky boot smells from the mountain Rescue Team Building. I didn’t know what this one was about but clearly it was serious.

Thankfully Ì was able to help. Stinky boots she can deal with, but this she could not.

This week brought the usual flurry of issues wrought by my poor choice making which often result in feelings of disappointment in myself. They stem from the condition of ADD which my husband diagnosed me with 25 years ago. (I am otherwise fully undiagnosed and mostly missing any signs of the H which seems to be the more useful letter of the condition.)

I had swept the floor and gone to get the brush pan to collect the sweepings when I remembered Ì hadn’t opened my advent calendar to remove the small bottle of white wine which I put in the fridge for the evening festive drink. Then I scolded myself for being so easily distracted, gathered up the sweepings and forgot the calendar.

I drank warm white wine that night - very disappointing.

On the same day I’d been fairly occupied with life’s household duties (scrolling, mostly,) and realised I needed to pee. As I went out into the hallway Ì remembered Ì hadn’t hung up the washing which had been waiting for hours, so diverted to complete that task as I knew I’d only forget again, whilst my body would surely remind me to pee. Midway through hanging the washing on the pulley, Ì was afflicted with the dreaded double sneeze which caused the 2nd disappointment of the day and a reminder of my poor choices - although at that point the 1st disappointment hadn’t revealed itself.

There have been bright days and bright moments.

Spook and Running Girl volunteered to time the Scottish Winter Swim Champs in Oban.

The organisers needed another volunteer to ‘be’ the Highland cow. It didn’t take long to find one…..

I find this particularly surprising as she is way more scared of cows than she is of mice.

The MOST delighted person so far this December is Jane the Sausage dog. Her favourite lap returned home, ending a very unsettling and distressing 49 days for her. She’s been fairly vocal about it and everyone is looking forward to a bit of peace and quiet. Not least Billy, who sat down in his favourite chair with the salut of a champion.

Stories From the Capital of The Highlands

When you spend a lot of time here it opens your eyes and your heart. The quick turn around of patients, the exhaustion of staff - and little by little their own stories appear. The nurse having a bad day with her own MS condition, getting a hug from the student nurse. The pregnant nurse desperate to get home to sleep. The young nurse struggling with severe migraines and trying to keep focus. The Domestic holding down 2 jobs and working 6 days a week as a result. The warmth and support offered despite a system in chaos.

There have been a surprising lot of English accents over the 5 weeks but this is the first time I’m listening to native Gaelic speakers. One from Stornoway and one from Barra. Phone calls, visitors - all in Gaelic.

The man from Barra came in on a chopper bound for Glasgow but diverted to Raigmore in a storm. 2 days later his daughter came from Glasgow to pick him up in the hope he would be discharged as his flight home to Barra is booked from Glasgow next day. But it’s the weekend, and it’s always dodgy getting out at the weekend. When the Doc called in to discuss the possibility of discharge and that she’d really hoped to review it in the morning, she told him she’d never been to Barra but it was on her list.

“Give me a call when you get there - I’ll put the kettle on.” He said, in his beautiful lilting English

Way to get your discharge!!!!! He was gone within 2hrs.

Billy Munro, you need to get on the charm offensive.

A 92 year old Northumbrian man who’s lived on a croft by the loch since 1961, desperate to get home and each days delay, feels like he’s never getting out.

He’s written a book.

I left Billy to get up and dressed and strolled off with my cuppa. The Domestic (a student nurse who works domestic shifts in between studies and placements) found me lurking between rooms with my tea and asked, laughing, if I was looking for a new patient to hang out with (he didn’t say ‘bother’ but I knew that was what he meant,) told him I was looking for the man who wrote a book - to tell him I’d bought it. The happy news was that he’s finally got home. The Domestic told me I could let him know by writing him a review.

Lurking in the toilets has been more fun than one might think. I didn’t know how to work this contraption but I’m a visual learner and soon picked it up. I’ve helped 3 older ladies get to grips with it. One of them had us both in giggles as she kept trying a different sink but put her hands in too wide - firing up the blowers and not the water. She thought they were broken. I had to follow her with her handbag and then take her hands and guide them under the tap. I think I could join the Women’s Royal Voluntary Service as a Toilet Attendant. There’s definitely a need there.

Been plenty of sunsets.

Sitting in this cafe, Ì met Andy again. He comes in to support his wife each day, with all of her meals. He’s usually reading a book - same as me - and we usually exchange a wave. Establishing some personal details of where we live and who we were visiting, he said he had an old school friend who had served his time in Lochaber Mountain Rescue Team. Jimmy Paterson, he said. No. I don’t know him, I said. They call him Scoobie, he said. I burst out laughing. I was at the same funeral as him a few days ago and showed him a photo I’d taken as I was there on behalf of Billy and had taken photos of all his pals. That’s him, he said.

One night on the other side of the ward brought the first sunrise while we waited for breakfast.

The light in the cafes remind me that November has continued as a good start to winter - weather wise.

The light at home tells the same story.

Though there was a little stormy drama…..

I found my namesake quietly sitting among the chaos knitting a jumper for her honorary grandchild whilst awaiting her new heart valve.

An opportunity arrived for a brief sortie into the sunshine. First in 5 weeks.

Drama is all around us here as the chopper comes and goes at all times.

At the end of the day, I go to Craig Dunain. This was built in 1864 and closed (officially) in 2000. A mental health facility originally called the asylum. My sister lives there with my brother in law Ian, and they have kindly reopened the doors to accommodate myself in a time of need. I’ve got my own room and recently had to take control of the tv remote as she and Ian kept asking questions about the actors in the drama we were watching. When Morag’s watching the tv you have to pause if you want to talk. Or, if you breathe too loudly, crunch your crisps too noisily or sup your wine too slurpily. IS THAT CLEAR????

The only Driving that Counts is Front Seat Driving.

Mither aywis said “if ye get a guid November ahin ye, ye’ll hae a guid winter”. (Something like that.)

November has brought colour, storms, sunshine and frost. And we’re only halfway through. It’s brought lots of journeys up the A82 to Inverness and Raigmore Hospital, and it’s brought lots of unexpected family time. It’s brought lovely Saturdays. The first one being my sloe picking day. The next being the Mallaig Book Festival - A Write Good Hoolie. And this Saturday brought my nephew from Edinburgh, and a fantastic road trip back to Mallaig.

Here’s the pictorial story.

Eden Court Theatre and the talented band Dallahan. A treat from my sister Marion and brother in law Ian.

The east coast haar crept in quickly. And 5 mins after this photo from the cafe at Raigmore, it crept out again…

Ì haunt the corridors of Raigmore and lurk in their dining areas.

The haar reveal.

A Write Highland Hoolie in Mallaig, where I sat still, mesmerised, from 9.30am to 5.30pm - listening, not speaking. I was late and my 2 friends were sitting in the front row. I whispered in a panic “we from Fort William always sit in the back seats!” The East witch said - “Ì draw. I ALWAYS sit in the front seats.”

Mel Shand - Artist. My bestest friend of over 40 years.

With the West witch in the middle.

I maintain it’s at least 18 years since Rory and I spent any significant time together. We had such a great weekend. Road trip to Mallaig - again, and never too much. Followed by a night by the fire with a dram and Local Hero. He was my perfect guest. He took loads of photos -just like his old auntie and we both seem to have a penchant for photies through the windie.

He travelled on the Ember bus. Loch Linnhe.

Glencoe.

Cammusdarrach. (Above 4 are Rory’s photies)

Lunch in Mallaig beside a much needed fire after his run into the Altlantic Ocean.

The dog doesn’t love the Big Red Bus. Billy’s campervan. He refuses to sit where he’s meant to.

I don’t care if you don’t like it Courr. You have to sit in the back seat.

“I don’t like it.” “I’m too far away.”

“I want to sit in Rory’s seat.”

“YES!!!!” Sorted. It took a bit of work but he finally pulled it off.

Rory’s windie photie.

My windie photie. Floor 3, having a breather before floor 6 destination. Raigmore.

My safe place. Sister Marion, and Ian’s house - Craig Dunain.

Fire, Fake Dogs and Fine Whisky.

My sister,Coila, called in to show me some wool she’d bought for a special project. Spook walked past her saying “I’m sorry I’m just in my underpants Coila, but I set my trousers on fire.”

He continued into the kitchen and through the back of the house.

Coila, who was completely unfazed by the underpants, was concerned that this act of self-immolation must be some kind of nervous breakdown. She stared at me in shock.

“It’s ok. He was welding, and set his overalls on fire which burnt a hole in the expensive cycling trousers he was wearing underneath - he’s just a bit pissed off.”

He’s fairly confident these ones are fire proof but failing that, he wants me to stand over him with a bucket of water while he’s welding. Fingers crossed as I have better things to do with my time.

Like gathering sloes for the gin. I got the call from Ronald that they were ripe for the picking.

It’s a very social past time as I exchanged pleasantries with Ronald’s neighbours, and partook in coffee and cake that he brought me as he knows harvest time can be hard work - so much better than standing over Spook with a bucket of water ‘just in case’.

It’s all part of the delights of October. Wild storms and calm days - you never know what you’re going to get.

Courr has found it a challenging month. One minute he’s got Scamp….who’s got a touch of the desert camel about her,

And the next he’s got the bloody sausage dog.

He mostly tries to pretend she doesn’t exist but when he turns the other cheek he’s got THIS to contend with….danger everywhere.

Coila dropped her ‘special’ project off and put Jane all wrong. This is Fake Jane who will be allowed in the hospital, unlike Real Jane who had to be content with peering in the window as her favourite lap is currently awaiting an operation in Inverness.

Having scoured the grounds of the hospital Auntie Al finally found the correct alleyway to get Jane as close to Billy as she could.

Fake Jane has taken up residence on Billy’s bed.

Real Jane is LIVID. After being stuck in the campervan for hours, she somehow managed to sneak into the lift beneath the Porter’s radar (sometimes the ridiculously short length of your legs can be an advantage.) She made it all the way to the 6th floor and showed the big faker how to cause a REAL stir. You can actually see Fake Jane at the foot of the bed in the photo. She’s toast!!!

Courr, despite a delightful life full of love and attention, maintains a permanent huff due to being usurped by other dogs, both fake and real. He needs to get over himself.

I’d like to thank The Antoinettes for their generous Thankyou gift for my efforts with their holiday transport. Some girls get chocolate and flowers. I prefer this….

Epilogue - The Antoinettes (Other Saints are Available - which is just as well as she’s not even a saint)

With the minibus out of the repair shop and able to go at full throttle Ì made my way back to Edinburgh to pick up the Boys from Bulgaria.

First stop Dunkeld - to meet Izzy and her mum for coffee. I parked up and went to get my ticket. 2 men were scratching their heads trying to work out how the machine worked. It’s the same as the one in Fort William which has everyone scratching their heads - even when they nearly know how it works. They spoke with a strong accent that was somehow familiar. I asked where they were from. The Balkans, they said.

“Oh, I’m just going to pick up my husband and friends who’re coming home from Bulgaria!”

They looked at each other and said - in their heavy accents -

“It’s ok - they will be safe there.”

Good to know.

I asked which country they were from.

Ukraine.

They said they had just arrived, were on their way to do the NC500 and were going home on Monday. Presumably they would NOT be safe there. For the want of anything more appropriate to say Ì just reached out and squeezed their arms and said

“Welcome to Scotland”

At least they won’t get a parking ticket.

After coffee at the Corbenic Community Cafe (https://www.corbeniccamphill.co.uk/corbenic-shop) Ì stopped for tea in Auchterarder. Aunt Nannie’s Prayer chair was going for it’s refit at Sui Upholstery (You can find them on Facebook)

https://www.instagram.com/sui.upholstery?igsh=bmVveXNicmwyazZt

I can’t think of a safer place (other than Bulgaria) to leave this old chair that I inherited from Nannie Grey when I was 15. It’s definitely over 100 years old. James looked at the legs and assessed Victorian. I wondered if I could be aged by my legs. Is there an era called Reptilian?

It had extended the seating capacity of the bus to 17.

Although chances are, the 17th passenger would drop through the bottom.

James gave me a wee tour of his workshop. An old machine with dodgy gears but which cuts through 4 layers of leather and a modern delight that makes his life a lot easier.

Tea drunk, bun devoured and by the time I left, James’s ears were bleeding from the strain of listening to me telling him 40 different stories at the same time. He and the prayer chair had morphed into things that had the stuffing knocked out of them. Whereas it had taken the chair 100 years to look like that, I’d managed to achieve it in 40mins. And he thought his old sewing machine was noisy!

I had just enough breath left to call into see my sister in Dunblane (the beauty of the A9 road in Scotland is that it spans a lot of people), before getting to the airport in time to drive round in circles for 45 minutes to avoid paying for parking but likely spending more on fuel.

The boys were looking a wee bit 2nd hand, but they were no longer my business as I was on my way to Ireland so handed over the keys and left them to it.

The high jinks of the night before appeared to have finished them off. They’d had a great last day out and bagged a lift home from the pub on a horse and cart. Great craic all round and very handy for the dude with the limp

They must have got a bit homesick as they were really keen to get a mention on the local radio station in Lochaber that night. They’d tried to get hold of the show host, Linda, but couldn’t make contact so they asked me to do so on their behalf. And they also asked someone’s dad. Linda had been having a very busy week and was getting pest texts just as she was rushing out to do her programme.

The tunes they requested were….

Big Sam’s Carry Out Ran Out.

OR

Jock Couplands Leg’s in Lybia.

OR

failing either of those well known Lochaber tunes (penned by one of the boys himself) -

The Hens March to the Midden.

Bulgaria is 2 hours ahead of Scotland and by the time Linda played a request for them, there were only 2 of the boys still awake. She’d probably dismissed the first 2 options as unreasonable requests and as she’d opened her show with the Hens Midden she played a very apt Duelling Banjos from the film Deliverance……for the Antoinette Hill Mob.

How I giggled at how neatly she’d put them in their place. The Antoinettes!!!! Penelope would be delighted. An all girl race team for the Wacky Races

I can’t quite bear to tell the boys that when I looked back at my message to Linda, just to check the names of the tunes - (let’s face it, they don’t exactly roll off the tongue) - Ì saw that Predictive text had changed Ant Hill to Antoinette!! Linda was just dutifully repeating my message. Oops. I wondered if I needed to relocate to Bulgaria where it’s reputedly safe!

And as if I’d somehow stolen their strength, almost all of the boys ended up spending a few days in bed with Spooks old box of hankies, making all the Molls desperately wish they’d stayed a few days longer in Bulgaria - which had proven to be more dangerous than the Ukrainians had thought.

I was lucky. Instead of being enclosed in the minibus with the diseased ones, I’d legged it to Glasgow and flown into Dublin early Saturday morning to be met by Meg, holding out a muffin and coffee. She was to become a God Mother. A high honour indeed. I’d told her I’d take the bus, but that would get me into Portlaoise 15 minutes before the ceremony and she wasn’t risking me bursting in the side door of the church, panting and sweating and causing her great embarrassment. So she thought it safer to make the 2 hour round trip to pick me up, which was really a bigger risk as she was an important element, whilst I was just a tourist.

We got to her house with 30 minutes to spare and time to iron her suit. Her Man said not to worry, as Mam had phoned to say it was later than Meg thought and we had an hour to spare. By the time Mam realised she’d made a mistake (totally out of character) we had 10 mins to get to church and rush hour appeared to have struck. Mam had sent Da to get her parents from their home in plenty of time for the later start which was now an earlier start and worst of all he had the candle in his car which the God Father had to light for the Baby. The priest had a christening committee of 2 women whose job it was to make sure that things went smoothly. There were 2 family groups going through the ceremony this day and only one group was sitting politely where they were meant to be and it wasn’t the group Ì was in. I have to say, that as the tourist, I was the epitome of dignified composure. It was Da - who may not have burst through the side door panting and sweating - but who miraculously got Nana and Granda into their seats before the priest’s committee banished him from the region for all time and got the candle into the hands of the Godfather in the nick of time. (And if you know who Auld Nick is in Scottish, you’ll know what a close call that was.) Nana glowed with delight at being back in her church, amongst her family. No amount of stern looks from the committee ladies was going to spoil her sheer pleasure.

Truly Ì was honoured to be with the group on the slightly unruly side of church. As the priest’s committee tried hard to keep the family rounded up, the love flowed from them, for baby Luca and his family - and my daughter cemented her role in their lives. If she is even a tiny bit as good a Godmother as her own Fairy Godmother is to her, Luca will be a very lucky boy.

And I get to have an Irish family too…

N.B. Ì only have one outfit - previously for weddings, funerals and ceilidh’s - now also for Christenings.

Of course, it’s a Fairy Godmother’s job to recognise the saintly qualities in their fairy god children. And Mel Shand (https://www.facebook.com/share/1CxV8Yyoqb/?mibextid=wwXIfr) is the very best on the market. She saw this immediately and sent it back to Meg.

N.B There is no saint called Antoinette other than an imaginary one created to help with self doubt and intrusive thoughts.

Who’ll Help Lill OL’ Me?

We’ve had to set up a PR company to manage the flood of sympathy Spook has had since word got out that his condition had deteriorated so much, he’d had his leg amputated. Messages and phone calls and shocked looks on people’s faces when they met him and thought he had a prosthetic leg already. Fast work, since he’d only broken it on 19th July.

Our dear Amy didn’t realise she had such a wide reach when she posted photos from the wedding we were all at recently….

Despite appearances, he was only bending his leg to change the blood flow to his broken leg. Whilst we all thought people would be admiring our outfits…..

The PR department is happy to report that, despite his wife’s pleas that he couldn’t possibly manage a motorcycle holiday in Bulgaria, he has in fact gone on a motorcycle holiday to Bulgaria. Apparently his Trauma nurse said that as long as there was a swimming pool, chances were that he’d come home in better nick than he went out. The retired Superintendent Physio from the Belford also reassured him that a week away from his worries (a definite glance in my direction) would do him the world of good.

To make amends for my negative attitude, I volunteered to drive him and his wee friends to Edinburgh airport in the middle of the night.

As we drove through Glencoe the minibus got slower and slower. The friends (retired members of the mountain rescue team) thought they had chosen the worst possible old lady driver. At one point Spook checked to see if I’d left the handbrake on. As we got close to Jimmy Saville’s old house they began to panic that I was going to break down outside it. A couple of the lads had a wee bit of contact with Jimmy in his later years and still have a touch of PTSD. They thought they might have to ‘do’ an Ant Hill Mob and pick the minibus up and run with it…

When they start talking about the Ant Hill Mob you know you don’t have to check their teeth to age them. I was hoping they’d liken me to Penelope Pitstop, but no one suggested it

They however, were dead ringers for the Gang.

We got past Jimmy’s but dropped to 30mph as we passed the waterfall. The bus picked up a bit and then was fine going downhill where we had to pullover for the boys to have a stress pee after all the jimmy-induced anxiety. After turning the bus off and back on again, it sorted itself out - for a while. We’d gone into Limp Mode which was annoying as I’ve had Spook in Limp Mode since July.

At the airport he was loaded onto a luggage trolley as he couldn’t keep up with his pals. No man left behind!

That’s him in front, in the pic.

Safely in Bulgaria he has established there is a very adequate heated pool.

And there is a motorbike.

What he does with them remains to be seen.

Meanwhile back home and before Spook left, Billy spent a couple of nights in the Belford to review mobility. He complemented them on their amazing care and attention and then told him he’d be pleased if he never saw them to again.

I complained that he’d do anything the nurses suggested and nothing I suggested and told him I was going to buy a uniform. I told his cousin who works on reception and she immediately wheeched off her NHS top, revealing a bonnie cutty-sark and said go and see him with that on now. Between me facing a tasering for impersonating staff in a hospital and her taking phone calls in her underwear, we were in danger of taking all the attention away from Billy. However she had another shirt through the back so it didn’t stay racy for long. Billy smiled indulgently at my uniform and then we broke him out.

Jane has had a traumatic week and just wanted everything back to normal.

So did Courr.

The fact that Spook has made it to Bulgaria is great credit to his trauma nurse and physio. And fantastic staff at Raigmore - all of whom originate from countries that are not Britain

The Hydrotherapy Pool has made a stunning difference and he can’t recommend it highly enough for peoples aches and pains. Get in there.

Lochaber Environmental Group (https://www.lochaberenviro.org.uk/) for their loan (for a donation) of their electric trike which gave him the independence to get to the Hydrotherapy pool.

Shop mobility who leant him a scooter from the very first day, giving him a semblance of independence. They operate out of a shoogly shack in town and desparately need sponsorship to build a better premises. Don’t think for a minute that they might not be for you. They are for anyone who needs them.

Meanwhile here’s a wee bit of October so far.

For a bit of culture, the MOD (http://www.scotland.org/events/the-royal-national-mod) has come to town! I nipped in to the opening night for The Highland Art Prize at McCallum’s Art House on The Parade. It’s open from 11am to 5pm until the 18th of October. It’s a lovely exhibition in a beautiful space. Well worth a visit.

Painting above - one of my favourites is by Lisa Glaze.

https://mccallumarthouse.co.uk/

Sunshine, Rain, Rainbows, and Love.

I love September. You often feel it coming late in August, with crisp light and cool air.

Hearts were heavy in August when 3 local young lads lost their lives in a car accident and Ì couldn’t find it in myself to write a wee story. In September each of those lads was laid to rest one day after the other. So many lives affected and changed forever, it’s hard to get your head around

The season relentlessly continued with its business of changing to autumn, nevertheless.

The first thing that has to happen is The Ben Nevis hill race. The most iconic hill race in the land on the first Saturday in September. It is Running Girls happy place. This year she completed her 23rd Ben Race and came over the finish line where her precious, tiny grandson, Eddie, had a sign saying “Ì love you”.

Lochaber can take on an exotic look.

As long as the sun keeps shining.

We left Lochaber for the more northern reaches of the west coast as Spook and his broken leg needed driven over the Bealach na Ba to help out at an event in Applecross he’d promised to support - as long as he could do so sitting down. For a wee while the sun stopped shining but there’s always drama up there….

I gripped the wheel and kept going.

Feeling a little tension in the van, Courr had taken shelter lower down…

Once over the top, the sunshine came back, the tension eased, and the dog had a lovely wee holiday.

We stayed in a grand house and even met Our Meg’s uni pal, Kirsten.

Back in Lochaber, Aunti Al needed some help catching goats to get their hooves trimmed. They are very friendly until needing caught…...

Crocs are not the best nor grippiest footwear for keeping hold of them once finally ensnared.

Jane the sausage dog is nervous of anything bigger than her, which is most things. She’s found ways to look bigger and knows how to use social media to her advantage.

She can also use it to pull the wool over the eyes of others….

She instinctively knows what colours suit her best. And she understands the benefits of working as a team. She and Courr will often work together to break down Billy Munro’s dogged determination to not like dogs.

By out-staring him at the breakfast table.

Meanwhile Aunti Al is trying to find ways of out-staring preditors with an unhealthy interest in her hens and quails, without having to sit up all night.

We can only hope this continues to work as Spook and Courr have become used to very nice breakfasts. Trump wasn’t the only one being served quails eggs in September.

And our lovely neighbours who work with Spook at Nevis Range were worried he’d fade away and dropped off some of their delicious foccacia bread to build up his strength.

I’m slightly worried about this extended time at home as he seems to be morphing into my sister’s dog, Scamp.

Scamps mother, Billie, lives in Ireland with Meg and Darragh. They may look different but the familial familiarities are in the amount of love they give and receive.

I have been giving out as much love and support to Spook with his injured wing as I can muster. But without question, I am a woman with limitations and he’s wise to remember this…..

I could easily feature on a well-known set of cards.

His old (young) buddies from Nevis Range got married over on the east, south of Edinburgh and we were chuffed to be invited to go and help celebrate. They knew how to have a party and look after their friends at an amazing venue with fantastic food and generous gallons of drink and a brilliant band - The Jacobites - who knew how to get everyone dancing. All I could see on the dance floor were laughing faces.

Thankyou so much, DJ and Abbie, for a fantastic day (or 3 days for those with the stamina).

Getting to party with your children’s friends who are now your friends, is one of life’s sweet developments.

Amy was on her 3rd wedding of the week. The day before she’d been with our Meg at their pal Siobhan’s wedding on the other side of the country.

Well played, Amy.

The bonus of going somewhere so different for a wedding is getting to explore. I abandoned Spook in our accommodation and went scrambling over rocks to find Seacliff harbour. The smallest in the UK. With Tantallon Castle in the background, it had a Game of Thrones kinda feel to it.

The stags have begun roaring at night as we head into October. Each year they get closer.

Which means they get louder!

I love October.

July Stretched to Breaking Point

July must be almost as long as January, which has around 6 weeks (due to being paid early before Christmas and running out of money by the 4th of January when you don’t get paid until the 31st.)

Firstly the 4th of July saw many things happen - and that’s without any Stateside connection. Our lovely daughter celebrated 6 years with her lovely Darragh on the day they had to say goodbye to their beloved young Labrador, Rua.

Our son headed off to Poland for a Stag party and my husband, father-in-law and sister-in-law legged it to Lake Garda, leaving me to try and keep the goats, horses, hens, quails and cats fed, watered and penned in.

I drew the line at Jane and decided she had to go and holiday in the warmer climes of Argylle. It was a 5hr round trip which I deemed worth the effort, though she was less enamoured herself. She hates a vehicle driving off without her - then she discovers she’s in yet another place where she can call the shots and bonds to her new environment…..

But before that it’s all high drama and emotional blackmail.

Courr was beyond delighted and hatched a plan to joy-ride in Billy’s camper.

“You go go go and I’ll keep an eye on the house in case Billy’s still there!” He barked

This gave him an opportunity to get some reading done whilst being chauffeured around the area. It’s so much more dignified than a regular car. He was avidly reading a book on pest control and at this point he was re-reading the well pawed chapter on Total Eradication of the Sausage Dog. He was fairly confident that this had been achieved.

The animal husbandry didn’t go completely without incident - goats didn’t escape but had a party in the food shed when I hadn’t snibbed the door properly, though thankfully I noticed before I drove away. A couple of hens didn’t survive my care and attention and it was a wee worry that there’d be none left by the time Alison got home. Meanwhile, I ate lots of eggs…

Quails eggs made lovely egg mayonnaise and Scotch eggs…

I mixed it up with the scrambling just for fun.

Billy asked me to deliver eggs to a couple of neighbours. This turned out to be the highlight of my week. I’ve signed a Non Disclosure but suffice to say that delivering to one particular neighbour reminded me of why I love living in the Highlands and of how precious and funny life is in my husbands home village………

Meanwhile The Munro’s were having a lovely time on the Italian Lakes.

Our girl turned 30…..

Which meant Billy had been a Papa for 30 years. So while she celebrated in Ireland, we lit the caterpillar cake at home.

Everything was going so well……I’d had my cousin and his family from the Phillipines up to stay. We had friends escaping the heat in Southern Spain to stay and my cousin from California. We went to a fantastic wedding reception which reminded us of how cool and good fun the next generation are and enjoyed a brilliant apres wedding party. Busy busy busy………

Until Spook fell off his bike on the way to work and didn’t unclip his right foot from the peddle. An operation and 8 weeks recovery is all that was required. And a little mobility assistance….

Crochet lessons have been offered and thus far rejected but it’s early days. He’s got the wool.

Spook’s a Lochaber man in life and in battle and the scooter (brilliant service from Shopmobility) enabled Spook to be independent on the sidelines of the game which was Lochaber against Inveraray. Courr will support whoever has the pizza and thankfully he wasn’t disgraced, disappointed,…or hungry.

Until Spook can get safely up and down the stairs he’s confined to the downstairs room. While Alison was away (again,) and Billy headed to Glasgow for a City Break, Courr was disgusted when Jane moved in.

Spook didn’t quite know how to feel when he ended up sleeping with her.

This was just before she shot under the covers and didn’t come out until morning. There seems to have been some bonding going on….

July has displayed all weathers. From threatening storm to sunny 30 degrees.

Who knows what August will bring. Courr will have to think of new ways to get the sausage dog out of his life. He’s tried to generate some sympathy by taking his food bowl down to the canal as if no-one is feeding him and I suppose stowing away on a boat to Scandinavia or Germany isn’t out of the question whilst there’s still lots of through traffic. Probably not Germany due to the Daschund issue.

With the mobility aid I can walk Spook and the dog at the same time. The destination even when kept on a firm lead, is however, different….

Education Bill

Like Ben said in Local Hero “there’s a lot of work left on this beach yet” (something like that,)and similarly there is a lot of history to be learnt yet, about Fort William.

I kept hearing mention of Annat village and I just assumed it was from ‘Roger’s’ road back towards town and included the whole industrial estate - Harbros, Sawmill, Ferguson’s, the Boat Yard etc.

But people who knew, meant the Lost Village of Annat. So then I couldn’t work out where that had been. There’s a tiny but very informative and nostalgic exhibit in the West Highland Museum until mid August. I asked Billy if he fancied a visit.

I didn’t ascertain just who it was that has taken the time to gather stories about this unique village of around 200 homes (or people?) but it’s a wonderful collection of stories and photographs - full of names that I recognise as Caol and Fort William names. Mathers, Shearer,Prosser,Confield etc.

Billy remembered the Naval Base at Corpach and the prefabricated homes that were created on the edge of town to house the military from 1942-1944, which became the village of Annat. There was a cinema where the old sawmill was that he used to go to. I’d thought the British Aluminium factory was a big enough target for bombers, but the large naval base was another worthwhile target.

When the base closed, the houses became available to the homeless who were such, because there had been no house building over the war years. We met a woman who’d been relocated to Kinlochleven when the village was bulldozed in the early 1950’s, and now lives in Glasgow and had come up to see the exhibit. The first thing she saw were 3 photographs that she was in. She said that her family had lived in one room rented in a house at Lundavra - her parents and her siblings. When they got a house at Annat it was amazing. 2 rooms, a toilet separate from the bathroom and a solid fuel cooking stove which only worked when you lit the fire in the living room! The countryside, views, friends - life was brilliant there. There was a school, shop and delivery van - driven by Billy’s great Uncle Peter McMillan.

Most folk moved to the village of Caol once the houses there were completed.

It’s a very small part of the museums treasure and is only there for another 6 weeks.

Billy and I had a quick lunch next door at the cinema before taking a sneaky peak at the site of the old village.

The hard standing terraces that were left made the perfect site for a caravan park - with the best sunsets within the town locale.

In the name of Educating Morag, Billy and I were talking about motorbikes and I remembered the bike Spook had (only just barely working) when we first met. It was an MZ. I knew absolutely nothing about that brand and learnt from Billy, all about Ernst Deger and his defection from East Germany with secrets of the MZ make-up and the drama of smuggling his family out in the false boot of a large car. I’d forgotten all about the Stasi - the secret service of East Germany

Another day I managed to educate Billy about a young woman I’d heard about on a podcast. Mary Manning who went on strike from Dublins Dunnes store in 1984 to protest against Apartheid and ultimately resulted in Ireland banning produce from South Africa, although she and her fellow 10 workers were on strike for 2yrs and 9 months on £21 strike pay a week. Desmond Tutu visited them and an African living in Ireland told them that South Africa was like a pint of Guiness - a small amount of white people on top and a lot of black underneath.

Christy Moore wrote a song about it. Called Dunnes Stores, funnily enough.

In between all the educational stuff, Courr continued on his determined path to remove Jane from his life in an effort to create his own apartheid where she does not get to share the same space as him. He carried her bowl to the river thinking she’d pursue him and maybe get washed away. But she didn’t care, and stayed at home with Billy.

Goats came back to live at Inveroy after many years absence. They had to get on a boat on Loch Nevis and travel the high seas to get to their new abode. Just as Courr had thought that Jane was his only problem…..

After a goats chase dog scenario, immediately followed by horses chase goat scenario and dog runs between all animals in a total panic and wishes Jane was there to help him scenario, things quickly settled. Although head butting dogs is still their favourite thing, there’s good eating to be had.

The truce with Jane over the goats didn’t last. Billy, Alison and Tom - all Jane’s favourite people - went to a music festival at Portsoy and left her behind. She had to come and live in Courrs house at Banavie. She became devoted to Spook and followed him everywhere. He spent the whole weekend welding his car and she spent the time sleeping in the drivers seat.

She got very territorial and told Ted the Collie to feck off, which was a shame cos Ted’s been coming round for years and is quite nice. So I put a muzzle on her and she took the huff. Courr was in a permanent huff the whole weekend so it was no odds to him.

Then I took the huff as I had to leave the marital bed and sleep next door with the disgruntled Courr.

Courr and I were both delighted when we delivered her home to Billy’s lap and we could get our lives back in order.

Over the month I managed time to scribble in my sketchbook and entertain myself - I could do this all day everyday but no one would get fed!

Meanwhile, Finn and Courr get more alike every day.

And a wee love note from us to Rua ‘Scoobiedoo’ in Ireland who isn’t well. Wee love you. X

Happy Birthday Spook….. Love from…. Jane. Xx

Quines, Loons, And Auld Foggies

Keith TMSA time. (Traditional Music and Song Association). Billy and Joy did all the wee niche eastern folk festivals for years. Last year Billy decided to revisit them in memory of his adventures at them with Joy. He managed Portsoy, Stonehaven and Kirriemuir. But Keith TMSA slipped through the net. I said I’d go to Keith with him next year. And suddenly it’s Keith time and the vans not ready!!!

Once the seating arrangements were sorted we tried it out….

Billy had the mail delivered directly to the van to test it for ‘home from home status’.

Everybody agreed that it was very homely indeed. We didn’t know how to tell the dogs that they weren’t invited to the festival. This was a happy moment for them, soon to be torn to shreds by total abandonment.

As the post delivery was Billy’s bank statement he could ascertain how much fish and chips we could afford. Alison’s boyfriend says that Billy has already consumed more than the UK quota of fish this year alone. A couple more can’t do much harm, surely.

Reidhaven Square in Keith. Spotlessly clean and peaceful apart from the fish-eaters.

Billy had told me that we mustn’t be late to the campsite as last in becomes the cabaret entertainment for everyone else so before getting our fish suppers, we’d set up camp.

Billy got his window blackout screens in place while I tackled my tent - having refused a lesson from my husband whom I’d assumed was being a patronising git…..

This was our home for the next 2 nights so, not an official campsite as such but provided all that we needed. Can’t think how everyone had remembered Joy and Billy from 2 years ago when they’d hosted the after party in their camper. How on earth did that happen? Look at the size of the rest of them!!

The site even provided First Responders to the tent erection issues that had developed alarmingly quickly in high winds which I assured my husband (later) were practically a tornado. Camp Commandant Christine and Fiddler Annie were quick to assist when I screamed as the tent almost took off and there was a bit of a ‘snap’ as a tent pole took the hit. Billy had been intent on settling his van into night mode and only heard the scream.

Billy said that this would definitely blow away while we were in the pub so was rattling through his toolbox looking for tape to fix the pole - clearly there was no way I was getting in his van.

But there was someone’s tent in a worse state than mine and he had to sleep in his car all weekend…..

I said to Billy that I wasn’t sure if he was drunk or just……”a bit like me!” Said Billy. But he was worried that if we stepped in the guy would either end up in with me or in with him. Word on the campsite was to leave him to sort it out as he always ended up in his car anyway.

Thankfully he was as much, if not more, the cabaret act as I was.

We celebrated the dropping of the wind with a night in The Ploo. The first bothy ballad we listened to was one of Joys favourites. The Balaena. A Dundee whalers song which Billy said I must know having spent 4 years in Dundee. Nope! Did not listen to whaling songs whilst living the dream as an art student!!

We had a great night - me on the Balvenie dram and Billy on the Virgin Cranberry Vodka, which is served straight, without the vodka.

Next day dawned a bit dreich but I got the morning paper while Billy got the coffee on.

We sat out the rain until Billy got bored and declared he was going to the Railway Club session.

There was no one on the street. They were all in the Railway club. Where I was on Railway Club malt of the month - Glenfiddich (at 2.30pm eek) and Billy was back on the Virgin Cranberry.

Flo, the pub dog, was well loved by everyone. But she had her favourites - especially ones who smelt of sausage dog…..

She launched herself from nowhere straight onto Billy’s lap and I couldn’t save him for laughing - and recording the moment, of course.

We went back to The Ploo for the session there before grabbing some dinner and making our way to the Bowling Club for the big concert. As we wandered past The Royal Hotel, Billy said that he and Joy had eaten there 2 years ago. The food was upstairs and Joy couldnt manage the stairs. So someone gave her a Fireman’s lift. I asked if she squealed and he said “yes - loudly”. And did you laugh? “Yes”. But the assistance she got up those stairs kind of reflects what Keith is about. They call it The Friendly Town and it absolutely is. Full of warmth and friendliness and after one night in The Ploo, we felt we knew everyone. Obviously it’s festival weekend but I’d say you’d get a Fireman’s lift up the stairs any day of the week if you needed it.

The talent was amazing. The celebration of the Scots language - the Doric version - and the love of story telling through music was heartwarming and totally engaging. I felt close to my mum as she would have LOVED it. I remembered how I forgot, that although Joy was very much a Highland girl, she was also a Quine from the east through her father’s side. Her granny was a Berry from a Traveller family north of Montrose and this music and song was part of her DNA.

We walked home at midnight and encountered the local ned in a black Corsa doing fast circuits of the town. I knew the song that was blasting out. One of my ain childhood favourites. Donald Where’s Yer Troosers. How cool was THAT!

The sunshine was back by Sunday morning and Billy was determined to get back to The Ploo and then the outdoor session in Reidhaven square. We parked outside the somewhat dilapidated Commercial Hotel because it was close to The Ploo. We could hear the music emanating from its open door. Outside the Comnercial was Boidie from Peat and Diesel who was having a fly smoke. He’d joined in Jarad Rowan’s session last night and was clearly in recovery.

Billy got out the van and felt dizzy. So he got back in the van and we had to decide if we were being too greedy. The suggestion that, had he collapsed in the street, Boidie was the nearest person to call to arms, and with my penchant for being easily Star struck, and my blog driven obsession, the chances were high that whilst Boidie was saving Billy, I’d be too busy taking selfies of us all…….Well, let’s say it helped Billy to focus on the best option. He’d noted how slow I was to save him from Flo the dog, after all.

We drove off, sad to leave as the Strathisla Pipe Band was tuning up ready to March to the square.

I loved Keith music festival and the amazing community who lives there and travels every year to enjoy and take part. For the last 50 years! I look forward to next year and just need to get a new tent pole. And maybe eat some humble pie and accept a lesson from the husband.

One to watch? Amy Papiransky. Raised in Keith, living in Glasgow. Billy noted that the festival had something for everyone when he, at 90, sat opposite 3 very young woman - old school pals of Amy. She was fantastic.

Maybilly

Who doesn’t love May? And this one just kept giving. I found myself pulling items of clothing out of cupboards just so I could wash them and boast about how quickly they dried. Simple pleasures or a very very dull life? I’m fine with it.

Billy turned 90 and we all piggybacked off the celebrations

The busy seats outside after the party had moved indoors spoke volumes. The love and respect for Billy was tangible.

Touch of the Gingers. Finn couldn’t be at the party as he left for a holiday in Oz the day before. But he sent his good wishes…..

The endless giving of the 90th birthday brought Meg home from Ireland.

We are only laughing in this photo as everywhere I went in the kitchen she was under my feet. She declared it to be because she loves me so much, which was a pleasant divergence from her usual glowering when we both want to be on the same spot.

And the timing of the birthday put her in exactly the right spot to help relocate Mr Brown the donkey to a different part of Knoydart. Such manoeuvres require the Spanish John landing craft and a sympathetic family with a lonely cow who said they’d shelter Mr Brown so that Wendy the cow could have company.

Now, it HAS been suggested in the recent past that Mr Brown has a touch of the Evil Penguin from Wallace and Gromit. Carol, his human mother is having nothing of that kind of slanderous commentary. However it seems he Waterboarded Wendy in the water trough before biting her ear so it may have some truth in it. In his defence, he was a bit pissed off and missing Carols kitchen.

There was a lot to do to help our friends with the big flit but there was a little leisure time for Meg and her dad.

Her Irish parents came for a trip to Scotland at the same time so we all enjoyed some of the high jinx of the flit at the Mallaig end.

Catching Mallaig between Steam trains on a sunny May Day - what’s not to like?

Meg and Darragh have a fox Red lab called Rua. Darragh and dog were still in Ireland and she was a bit sad about that. But she had to look after Rua’s grandparents so that made her happy.

Away to get them off the boat.

Each day we all soaked up the delights of May. And yes, we were trying not to buy into the fearful muttering of the anxious Crofter “aye, we’ll pay for this yet!” Whilst batting the thoughts away.

Knowing it would have to come and that of course, we knew we needed it….

It dropped from 22-25 degrees to 9 degrees and fresh snow on the hill tops. The Crofters were right. Always kept in our place by the weather. But the animals needed a wee bit rain to grow the grass

The only real problem with the rain is the dogs who’ve got used to dry weather and refuse to go out in it….

Feck off!!!!

April Photo Showers

April passed in a flurry of mostly sunshine. I ran out of time to post a blog before it ended so I’ll just summarise photographically from start to finish….

Torridon for Finn and Spook

Courr presided over many a family dinner.

Alison’s quails started laying and we had to work out what to do with tiny eggs.

It took this many eggs to make Spook scrambled egg on toast!!!

Billy hosted morning coffee in the holidays and my selfie taking didn’t improve. No idea how the youngsters do it.

Spook and I went on holiday to Italy with my brother and Steve and I discovered my duties were far greater than anticipated. It turns out boys are high maintenance and I’m the easygoing one. Who knew?

I was their uplift driver and under strict instructions not to scrape the car or run over any donkeys. It was easier said than done. Sometimes I had to go the village Trattoria alone to recover. I met the locals and learnt how to say bad words in Italian which I later found very useful. It really helped.

I did get a little time off to stay in the village which was bliss.

I really wanted to buy this for Billy Munro’s 90th birthday and drive it home. But I’d never have made it in time. Today is Billy’s birthday. Maybe I’d have made it to Calais.

This is the village we stayed in.

I loved Italy (but next time I may have to go alone) and I love being home.

Happy Birthday Billy. Many happy festival returns.

Springy Delights

Driving my delightful son home along the Fort William By-pass one morning after a night out in town he said “Is that a whale?”

I scanned the empty loch - “dearie me. What were you drinking last night?”

Later that day on a very low tide, I walked the dog under the pier…..

Turns out he wasn’t hallucinating - it kinda WAS a whale. And I’d never noticed it before!!!

After a really inspiring talk at the Roybridge Hall on the subject of Creag Meagaidh Nature Reserve, given by Rory Richardson who is the Reserve Manager, Billy and I went for a wee drive with the plan to buy some venison from them on the way back.

What they have achieved in terms of conservation and community involvement and a fantastic place to visit is truly impressive. Rory’s enthusiasm is infectious

. https://youtu.be/TXeNojy4nQg?si=PWOzU-IEfwafeRNt

We decided to drive through the Centre of Scotland, lunch at the Newtonmore Grill and then call in for the very good priced venison from the Reserve.

And here is the view from the centre of Scotland between the Atlantic Ocean and the North Sea.

And here is the view of Courr stuck at ground level in the Grill while Jane gets the Penthouse…again.

Instead of sleeping in a tent under a railway bridge next to a very large puddle and dining at the Newtonmore Grill as I did when I turned 60, l decided this years birthday treat would be a little more upmarket but would be a solo trip. I adored my adventure with Running Girl last year but she doesn’t do luxury - brings her out in a rash. So I booked 2 nights in a hotel across the road from The Clutha in Glasgow. No schedule, no joint decisions to be made. Just make it up as I go along. Ride buses, stroll, watch, listen. Art exhibitions, Bridget Jones, wine at The Clutha, whisky at The Scotia.

I asked the artist if he was going to incorporate the art work already there. He said

“Naw. There’s rules. Once ye start ye need to completely cover the original work. And ye need tae be sure yer work’ll be better than theirs. But if someone has spoilt the work wi’ something like a wee cock an baws, ye can paint ower the whole thing……..jist in case yer wanting tae dae some yersel’.”

He did a good job. I stopped for a long look at the next one….

I don’t think anyone is going to paint over THIS one. There was a man and woman standing admiring it next to me. And because this is Glasgow, of course I went to The Clutha for a glass of wine with them before we went to our respective cinema viewings.

My date with Bridget Jones was just a little later than their film and we arranged to meet at The Scotia afterwards before they caught their bus home.

Now this was bliss. 5 people in the cinema and I didn’t have to negotiate what film to watch. Last time I ate a tub of popcorn sitting next to Spook he threatened to divorce me.

After another glass of wine at The Scotia and 2 drams whilst listening to a rock band playing covers, I was just one dram short of Pogo dancing to the Buzzcocks so they had to safely walk me the 4 paces back to my hotel. So much fun.

Courr wasn’t impressed by my absence and didn’t think it was fun at all.

Back to normal life The Mobile Librarian alerted us to the fact that she was in the area. Would we like to peruse her wares and she could talk us through some possible reading matter? She has trained in such discourse so it was a good offer.

The Librarian had a range of Self Help books she recommended. I chose one on How to Pogo Dance in later Life (Without Injury). Billy chose one on how to convert a Mobile Library into a Campervan.

When the weather turned amazingly good, we abandoned books.

Meanwhile, way out West at Doolin on Irelands Wild Atlantic Coastline……

Our Meg and Rhua were having a moment.

March has brought dark,wet and cold days, but far more bright and sunny ones. I love March.

Happy Spring.

And Now We Need to Talk About The ‘Other’ Dog

Playing 2nd fiddle to a weirdy-looking wee brown thing when you’re clearly the cutest dawg in the room, is a hard pill to swallow.

You do what you have to do, and sometimes it’s just not enough.

Billy and Jane have had to hit the road a couple of times this month to escape the installation of the new heating system and insulation. When you’ve done everything that’s needed done over the last 60+ years yourself, it’s not comfortable to have strangers drill holes in your precious house. Especially when they wear short trousers.

There’s no leaving the canines behind so we put them in a shared space to see if they could, well, share.

Body language is loud and clear. Jane wants to sit on Billy’s lap and Courr wants her to disappear. They moved around to see if they could reach a compromise - neither the lap nor the disappearance being an option.

The communication was all directed at the humans. The dogs simply weren’t talking to each other.

We had breakfast out at Nevis Range where everyone loved Jane and ignored Courr. Very galling. Jane is delightful with humans but when another dog came in she turned into a snarling monster and I had to tuck her under my arm like a rugby ball and leg it out of there at speed. Thankfully we’d finished eating.

Heavy rain greeted us as we approached the Corran Ferry. Then the sun split the skies on the peninsula and we had the loveliest drive, walk and picnic lunch (from the Bakery in Acharacle).

Warm sunshine at Castle Tioram got us out onto the shore.

I’ve never mastered the Selfie, but we had a giggle.

The walk helped with the relationship issues. At least for a while.

We’d to take a 2nd trip the next week with more workman making holes in the house so we took the ferry again but turned right instead of left and went up the side of the loch across from the A82 and Fort William. We had lunch in Cafe Mara at Corpach Basin where Jane and Billy had a chat about the morning’s journey.

Courr was really pissed off. No amount of dieting will make him lap-sized.

He has a cunning plan though. He removes Jane’s 3 food dishes (who needs 3 dishes???) from Billy’s house on a daily basis. It doesn’t matter how many times I bring them back, he’s unrelenting. Jane is too heavy to remove so starving her out is worth a try.

He’s also tried making himself look more appealing in the hope that Billy will be won over.

Billy is made of tougher stuff.

And who can resist wrinkly wee ankles? She is the Nora Batty of dogs. Could Billy be her Compo?

Billy hosted a wee dinner in the Grand Hall at Foich, Inveroy. It’s been a very tough year.

To give Courr some respite from the ever present Jane, I took him for a doggy spa break over on the east. But the other attendees were either hogging the tv or the fire, so it wasn’t all just as he’d like.

Billy got the chance to go to Ballachulish for a Gary, Ewan and Ruairidh gig and decided Jane couldn’t come. Courr would have been delighted if he’d known but he was too busy being miserable at home as he wasn’t invited either.

After 2 weeks of amazing February weather it turned into almost 2 weeks of yucky February weather. Neither Jane nor Courr wanted to go anywhere. Nobody did. Except kayakers, and the ducks.

March tomorrow. Love it.

We Need To Talk About Jane

It’s a long old month. About 42 days long!! By the time they pay you early (woohoo we’re rich) and then don’t pay you again until the very last day (lucky to make it through the divorce-rich Blue Monday mid January,) you’re on your hands and knees. The stretching days get us through it as we marvel on a daily basis that it’s lighter in the mornings and afternoons as if we never knew this was going to happen. That element of delightful surprise is what brings us alive. Never taking the daylight for granted.

We’ve had everything from -10 degrees to a super bomb of a storm. We’ve had rain but not actually that much. We’ve had sunshine. We’ve had snow. All in all, it’s been a pretty good month.

I struggled to let the Christmas tree go. Cam, Amy and Rhiannon went to a lot of bother to get it and Spook did a great job of securing it. There seemed no need to dismantle it and it became a winter tree.

I read my coffee leaves and they said that Santa agreed I could hold onto the tree at least until a big storm threatened to blow it over.

When it got frosty I re-established the bird table and then spent even longer over my breakfast coffee.

This has created gang warfare amongst the Robins, party time on the grass for a big flock of Chaffinches, some nibbles from Tits, great and small, and a Woodpecker.

The men of the household are not sure about my decoration of the table. As I haven’t planted a garden I got some fake daisy lights to replace the festive tree.

I think it’s delightful though my flower growing friends would encourage me to plant some real ones. Maybe this year.

My son was coming home after almost 2.5 years overseas and the big storm was chasing him across the Atlantic. Billy needed to listen to my over anxious fussing and join me in my anxious over eating, while my sister sent me minute by minute pictures of his plane journey as she tracked it on an app.

The donut really helped.

Thankfully Jane came into Billy’s life and she has helped to break up my endless whinging.

One has to remember that Billy doesn’t do dogs. Courr has sneaked in under the radar and is considered to be ‘almost civilised’ but really he is tolerated.

Jane has had a very unsettled period in her life as her owner died. She’s been spending a bit of time with Billy while she works out what she’s going to do.

Badass Bill would really have been the last person a wee dog would hang out with while pondering her future…..

Photo given to Billy by Mick Tigh and taken by Alex Gillespie. This man should not be approached.

This one, however, knows when a wee dog is sad and needing a rescue package.

She’s been working on him, right enough.

Oh she’s very good at it!!!

She barks plenty, so no one can sneak up on Billy. She doesn’t moan about stuff and she doesn’t prattle on. Whilst she enjoys a wee walk, she’s easily satisfied and if she could snuggle up in a cosy house all day, she’d choose that over stretching her tiny legs any day.

Jane, in her innocence, didn’t know about all the ‘rotten’ dogs that have come before her. Amongst them, Mali the Alsatian that Spike insisted they rescue when the boys were wee (it ran away regularly, ate a hole in the living room wall, ate the boys collected tadpoles etc) - Billy still scowls when you mention him. The giant Poodle which ate a Silkie hen. The owners gave Billy a bottle of whisky by way of apology. The Silkies never laid any eggs and Billy said it was the most productive the hen had ever been, thanks to that ‘rotten’ dog. Joy had rotten dogs when he first met her, and Billy’s own parents had rotten dogs that kept running away. Then along came Jane with her big doughy eyes.

And safely home came Finn, just ahead of the storm, catching the last flight out of London before it hit. A week after arrival he started work at the Saw Mill - I think that’s because he looks like a Lumberjack.

That’s what 2 years in Canada does for you. Only thing missing is an axe over his shoulder.

December Dauners

Happy Hogmanay. Blowy and wet and easy to forget it hasn’t been like that for ALL of December.

Spook and I started our December with my old pal of 40 years and his wonderful Melanie. It’s a 12 hour drive to visit them so hasn’t happened in years. Ever since I read book 4 of The Famous 5 I wanted to go to the smugglers haven of Rye. I’ve waited so long it isn’t actually on the seaside any longer. When did that happen???? Over 50 years since I read it but I dare say a lot longer since she wrote it.

I don’t normally get all excited about Christmas but Mel and Richard were already excited on 1st December so I had to step up - especially as Meg and Darragh were coming over from Ireland for Christmas - his 1st with us and her 1st in 5 years. And she loves Christmas, so wee bit pressure!!

We started with Santa’s house as he went through his list of things to do. Santas Helper was very helpful as goes with the title…..

Not a single crumb touched the napkin and the staff were able to put it back in the drawer without washing. Auntie Al turned 50 so we went out to celebrate at Letterfinlay.

This is the dawg that slipped through the Billy Munro net of resistance.

We took a drive up to Cairngorm to see how things were looking there. Then we had soup, fantastic chips and sausage for the dug at the Newtonmore Grill. I love this place!!

Our friend Roberto despairs of my lack of a sense of adventure and took us out on his boat from Corpach Marina. I’m always keeping an eye on which is the closest shore - just in case.

Roberto is the most determined person I know. It drives him against all the odds, and the Nyali is his pride and joy.

We got a few lovely frosty days. Always welcome in winter and increasingly rare.

Things really hotted up once Meg hit the Irish seas. Aussie Cam, Amy and Rhiannon were dispatched on a rainy evening to find a tree and to not return without one.

They did very well.

Christmas, the first without granny Joy, was one she’d have enjoyed. As Papa said, she liked Christmas.

Carol, who’s pretty special, invited us all out to Camusrory on Knoydart. Billy hadn’t been out since 2009 when he’d walked in with his friend Barney and they’d partied in Sourlies Bothy with a happy group of men who’d all been made redundant. There were instruments and much merriment. It’s a 5.5hr hard hike in and if you have special friends, you can get an easier ride in to the last great wilderness in Europe - so it is often called.

David is a very safe pair of hands and devoted his time to our welfare. There is no nipping in and out from Loch Nevis to pick up friends or buy a pint of milk. It’s an hour by boat from Mallaig - including the short drive to their house.

Where Meg and Darraghs dog Rua, met his grandparents, Maurice and Minnie. Maurice and Rua discovered a mutual love of the green croc.

Grandpa and Granny

Rua also discovered a mutual love of Knoydart - which he shared with all of us.

Papa and I had opted for the lift to Carnoch in the side by side quad while the rest walked.

We were reunited with Mr Brown who took a real fancy to Billy. Every time he turned round he was there. He’s a bit of a sinister lurker and Darragh said he reminded him of the penguin in Wallace and Gromet. We were all a wee bit scared of him. Except Billy.

Mr Browns best friend - the one he never bullies or tries to scare, is Biscuit….

Carol and David wined and dined us and one overnight felt like the adventures of one week.

There was an option to get back to Mallaig on the warm, dry boat or the RIB. Billy and I chose warmth and the others chose a wee bit of a breeze and a sea eagle.

Carol and David are grafters. Fitting us in to their busy schedule and giving us such a unique adventure as a family was priceless. That’s a hard one to beat. In fact, it can’t be.

Thanks to Darragh for lending me some of his lovely pics.

We are all set for a New Year now.